I got a lot of clarity after reading ‘Clueless at 30’. As an inquisitive student with access to all information on one click, I used to get overwhelmed easily, that fear of missing out, being judged, taking action, what if I fail at the end was always there in my mind.
I used to feel like I was confused about my career because I thought I had to find my passion, that perfect thing which I am made for, I thought I will be happy when I find that perfect thing I can build my career upon.
Here are 14 lessons I learned by reading this awesome book by Shalini Prakash “Clueless at 30”.
- Stop thinking about passion
Focus on taking action on all the things that excite you without thinking much about the end goal and create experiences, this will help you achieve excellence and bring out the best in yourself.
- Small steps lead to a big impact.
As the author wrote, There is no easy way to deal with the cluelessness and uncertainties that lay ahead in your lives. Every single thing that you do in your day to day life, every single thing that you think about, listen to shapes your life. Every small step outside your comfort zone makes your life impactful. Create small action steps and give yourself a chance to experiment, just do it.
- You are not alone
Have you ever felt fearful before doing something?
I also faced fear before writing this article, so many negative questions were coming up in my mind like what if I got spam comments? What if I end up making so many tense mistakes? Blah blah blah!
From job providers to employees, from newbies to experienced all face anxiety.
Shalini Prakash has put it as, every time anyone has tried to get out of their comfort zone, fear has smacked them in the face. People learn to gradually get past their fears but they do have to face them. Remember that you are not alone.
- Asker’s take it all
Never hesitate to ask for answers; for solutions and for help, don’t let your curiosity fade away. You might miss an opportunity of reaching the highest peak because of your fear of not asking for help.
- Fake it till you make it
Bragging is an art, it does not mean lying, it’s about encouraging and empowering yourself. When you confidently say positive statements to yourself about all dimensions of your life, you get charged up, that is you reach your peak state at that moment.
- There is no shortcut to success
We need instant gratification and that’s why we overestimate the end result and never take any action, we keep imagining our end result and end up regretting, if one can resist the temptation of instant gratification he or she can become successful, we have to consistently focus on completing our short term goals to achieve something in our life, there is no shortcut.
- Everything happens for the first time.
You can’t expect anybody to become an expert in the beginning.
You can’t become a good writer without starting to write, there will always be a moment of resistance when you try to get better at something or when you try out something new, this initial resistance happens to everyone and instead of avoiding it you must learn to cope up with it, that’s the only way of achieving excellence at something in life.
- Focusing illusion leads you into a happiness trap
You tend to focus or dream about future events that you forget about the present moment, example when you scroll on Instagram it’s enticing to see the posts but you end up feeling frustrated after seeing your friends or relatives so happy, you think they have it all figured out and you also need to do certain things to be happy and suddenly the fear of missing out strikes up.
We crave for change, for excitement, for achieving a milestone and we keep thinking about different ways to make it happen.
The truth is excitement and joy is in the journey, in the experiences and not in the destination.
- Do not close the door on yourself.
If you have an idea and if you are afraid about all “What Ifs” then stop thinking too much and just say yes to your idea and never relinquish it just go for it. Your efforts, your risks will be worth it and there will be no regrets because of not taking action. Even if you fail you will end up learning something new.
- There is no perfect plan
You do not need to have it all figured out, I used to think that first I would learn about all the concepts of digital marketing and then I would start a blog but I was wrong, the truth is I can only learn it all by implementing my learnings and keep updating myself by learning new concepts everyday.
The problem is when we get an idea, we start searching about it and we end up spending a lot of energy in making a perfect plan that at the end we are left with no energy to take the action and surpass the resistance that comes with the fear of failure.
The truth is fear comes by overthinking about what if everything doesn’t go according to the plan. And excitement lies in the adventurous and happy moment which comes without a plan. Life is an adventure.
- We cannot control everything
We all need appreciation, and if you are that kid of the family who always thinks out of the box and does not follow the herd, you will always get picked up for not doing the right thing as it is supposed to be done.
As a result you start craving for the attention and appreciation of your family, you want your aunts and your uncle’s to give you some value, behave with you in a certain way but you need to understand that you can’t control their behaviour. You can’t make other people think in your way. You can only control your actions.
Instead of seeking validation outside, seek it within yourself.
I really loved a paragraph in the book and here it is.
We control our narrative. We control our story. Once we tell ourselves gentler stories, we are able to take a load off from our minds, and here’s a thought, why do we feel powerful once we let go or unburdened ourselves? Is it because we realise that we need very little to thrive and there is no excess baggage that can weigh us down? Perhaps. So let go. Take a chance. Roll the dice and hope for the best.
- You can learn multiple things and have a clear mind.
As a curious person, I want to explore a variety of subjects, like digital marketing, spirituality, sound healing and because of my surroundings and circumstances I end up believing that I was confused and that passion thing keeps coming up to haunt me.
I started suppressing my values and desires, and began preparing for things like certain exams that even if I successfully cracked it, I was not really willing to go through the experiences that the job is going to provide me.
As the author quoted,” The best part about cultivating so many interests very early in a journey is that every single step, experience, skill, journey, place or perspective helps.”
Different interests when combined produce awesome slash projects and if we keep moving with them we might not know we end up creating something mind blowing.
So if you are interested in so many different subjects, go and explore them, work on all the ideas coming in your mind related to those topics one by one and connect them to the field you want to contribute to, that’s your career.
Yes it’s going to take time, a lot of patience, perseverance is the key here, but keep doing it for a decade and you will discover that it’s the best adventure of your life.
13) Hope is the ray of sunshine
As growth hackers, you always hunt for better options in life, you study hard especially when you reach your early twenties, you start reading books, consume a lot of self-help content because you hope that one day you will be so happy.
But the more you explore the more you become anxious, you start doubting your abilities and you start thinking about all the horrible things that could happen in the future.
In such situations and in all difficult times the ray of sunshine in the form of hope comes to rescue you from the marsh of your own negative thoughts.
The hope that there is stability and certainty after uncertainty, confidence beyond fear, light after darkness, possibilities after obstacles.
This hope keeps you moving forward.
So always hope for the best.
14) You have to sacrifice security if you want to create something new.
I asked one of my friends why she is preparing for government job exams.
She gave me a number of reasons from which two were financial independence and security in life.
Till the moment before i read the book ‘clueless at 30’ my perception was that security is must, like what if i end up doing nothing and screwing my life.
Thinking like this is natural, but it gets even harder to quit a well paying job, change your career and start something new later in life when you have responsibilities and different priorities.
So in such situations you must follow your gut and if you are still confused then just ask a few questions to yourself like what is your idol day? What kind of experiences do you want to have in your life? Is the job you are going to get after clearing the exam going to provide you all those experiences? And are you ready to sacrifice a safe job, financial and emotional security in order to experience all that you dream for?
Everybody, rich or poor, young or old experiences insecurities in life. Youngsters want to become financially independent because they want liberty in life, the definition is different for different people.
Fear, confusion, self doubt will always be there but choose to take action, your first article may not be fully optimised and correct, your first step may not be best, but you still tried and showed up thats what matters.
So go ahead interrogate yourself, go FIND YOUR SLASH if you don’t know what to do or if you are doing something you don’t want to do anymore, start doing it (you can even integrate your slash with your current job to make your life more fulfilling if you are afraid to take the risk of leaving your job because of responsibilities).
All the best
So whether you are 30 years old, or older or younger, the book is going to help you in becoming clear from clueless.
What are your biggest takeaways from here?
Write them in the comment section.
Thanks for reading.